Humiliating Or Just Plain Funny Stories

Have a laugh at the expense of all the poor friends of mine (oh...and me as well, I guess) who donate their stories to this site for everybody to laugh at.

Sex Ed - me

Right, this took place when I was in year nine, and we were having a three week course on sex education. As luck would have it, I had a huge crush on my teacher at the time, which, as I’m sure you can imagine, made things well…interesting.

We had to work in mixed groups of four, two girls and two boys, and we were told to fill out sheets of the male and female sexual organs (obviously, the girls got the female ones and the boys got the male ones), and then there was a table underneath which we had to fill in after labelling all the sexual organs. In the table we had to write what each organ was used for.

The other girl in my group was my friend Sarah, and we were filling out the table, and the kind loving soul she is (fuck yeah lmao), she let me fill in the section saying what the vagina was used for. So, stupid ole me didn’t bother actually thinking about it, and I just wrote down the first thing that came into my head. “Where the penis goes during sexual intercourse.”

So yes, my phenomenal luck kicked in again, and the teacher came over to us, picked up our sheet, read what I had written, and then looked directly at me and said ‘well, instead of what goes in, how about what comes out?’

I just blushed a deep red and totally lost the power of speech - which doesn’t happen a lot, I hasten to add - and just stared at the table, face burning.

After getting me in that damn mess, Sarah thankfully came to the rescue and suggested ‘a baby’ after realising that I wasn’t going to say anything. Thankfully, this was the answer the teacher was looking for, and he moved on.

I still don’t think I’ve full forgiven her.

Friends being evil (as per usual) - Eleanor

Okay, I was in the canteen with my friend lets call her... Miss C. We were standing in line and she was quizzing me on who I fancied ffs. There was this boy that I liked at the table next to where we were standing, lets call him... Mr X.  And then Miss C saw that it was Him that I liked. So she got one of his friends to get his attention and then she shouted at him (whilst pointing at me, may I add) "HEY! SHE FANCIES YOU!" I felt like curling up and dying!

Open mouth, insert foot - Eve (too much Takeshi's Castle, methinks lol)

My Dad and I were in JJB Sports not so long ago, and along an entire wall of the store were racks containing footballs. Black ones, white ones, silver ones, gold ones...well I'm sure you get the picture.  Bear in mind it was a Saturday and the store was really crowded.  Anyway, on spotting the gold ones, Eve forgot to engage brain before operating mouth. I know, nothing new there.  I said to my Dad "Oh look, those are just like the General's balls!".  Dad s******ed, the conversation around us just stopped dead and I could feel my face going slowly crimson!  I haven't been in that particular store since.

Acting like a wally around mountains - General

I was about 10 and there was a huge grass mountain, it was all slippery with rain and wet leaves, I was forced to run round it (can't remember why) and I slipped and fell down at an enormous height, I landed on my stomach, luckily i didn't break any bones!

Ride It, Cowgirl! - Katrina